As parents, we want our children to succeed, to get into the ‘right’ school in order to give them the greatest chance of finding security in their life… it can feel at times as if we have no choice but to opt into a game of status, pressure and FEAR – and that’s just us parents…..
Dealing With Anxiety in Children
We tell our children, how they score in the 11 Plus Exam doesn’t matter, they must just do their best… it doesn’t matter….but they know, and we know…. it really does! Your children feel the pressure in not wanting to let you down, in not wanting to fail your expectations of them. Inside every child, however deeply hidden, is the fear that they won’t be good enough and if they are not good enough, they might not be loved – it’s a downward spiral that generates performance anxiety led by an instinctive yet irrational human fear of rejection and abandonment. Your children feel the fear from their peer group too – what if they don’t pass and their friends do?… There’s the fear of humiliation; the apparent ‘proof’ that they are not ‘good enough’ – which can destroy shaky self-esteem and self-confidence and of course, that ultimate fear of separation from their friends and being alone.
These fears can grow to haunt your child as the exam approaches and, can often lead to sleepless nights, bedwetting, stomach upsets, headaches, tearfulness and other symptoms of anxiety.
As mums especially, we eat, sleep and live the 11 Plus Exam preparations, don’t we? It can grow to occupy our every thought as the exam draws nearer, but on the outside, we try hard to appear ‘normal’ in front of the children. We don’t want to worry them, we honestly don’t. We source tuition so that they have a chance against their equally tutored peers. Perhaps your child is starting to worry secretly if they will do OK as they perhaps quietly doubt their abilities?
If You Are Looking For Ways to Help With 11 Plus Exam Anxiety for the Dorset 11+, Wiltshire 11+, Bucks 11+, Essex 11+, Kent 11+ or in other locations…
Available to buy now from my online store here is a unique recording set to relaxing music which aims to introduce ripples of calm and help your child to overcome exam anxiety. In creating this special recording, I have drawn on my first hand experience of the 11 Plus Exam as a mum and used my skills as a therapist to make it easy for you to help your child to calm their nerves and to produce a strategy that will help your child to cope better with the often overwhelming pressures and anxieties of 11+ Grammar School Entry.
If your child is stressed and worried about the exam, it becomes difficult to think clearly and quickly. Approaching the 11 Plus Exam in a calmer way may allow your child to overcome exam nerves, to sleep better as the exam approaches and, to focus their attention more effectively and scoop those vital points which ultimately make the difference between a pass and a fail.
You May Suffer Stress As A Parent Too…
My daughter, now at University, calmly passed the 11 Plus Exam some years ago, however most children who fail the exam, miss passing by just a few points. In this instance, the parents are then invited to present their case at an appeal hearing before a select qualified panel of academics. I have heard it said many times, that parents find themselves under pressure ‘to not fail’ their children at such a crucial time. Parental anxiety in this instance can be phenomenal.
In an article in the Telegraph in 2011 “The 11-Plus Has Taken Over My Life” Lucy Cavendish likens the relief when passing, to better than any ‘high’ ever experienced! … And did I mention?… Ah yes, please remember to click on the ‘Store’ tab above for more information on my unique CD recording to ease 11 Plus Exam stress and help your child to develop the confidence to succeed! You can read the full Telegraph article here
If you feel your child would benefit from some face2face anxiety help in the Bournemouth area or online, you can book a consultation with me here.
Lisa Skeffington, Anxiety Expert – Anxiety Help Bournemouth
Do you feel powerless, anxious and overwhelmed to make change happen in your life? I’d like to offer you an immediate opportunity to take a break from your stresses and anxieties. CLICK TO DOWNLOAD my FREE De-Stress Audio.