If you’re here with me, I’m guessing that you might like your life to be happier? It might be that on the one hand you are ‘shadowed’ by a nagging, that is telling you that your life is meant to be more than this and that you have more to give to the world. Perhaps you secretly and desperately want to feel more fulfilled in different aspects of your life? On the other hand, perhaps you just can’t seem to shake off those fears of not being good enough, which in turn, leads to thoughts of anxiety, powerlessness and self-doubt, pulling you back from the person you always wanted to be. If you are a woman struggling with these bubbling feelings of anxiety, and it feels like your mind is a battlefield of conflicting thoughts, then I’m talking to you here.
Are You Clear on What You Really Want?
If you’re like most people, you’ll tend to dwell on what you don’t want. It is almost a social conditioning that we are all pre-programmed to be drawn to focus on the negative situations in our lives. I have two theories on this. As a child, you quickly learned if you don’t pay attention and heed a negative word (like No!) bad things might happen. So, the child becomes programmed at a subconscious level, to focus on all negativity as a good thing. It’s survival.
Pain Versus Joy
Another reason is the pain-pleasure principle. Do you feel more motivated to move away from something you don’t want rather than towards something you do? Most of us do. It’s a normal human driver. Nevertheless, when you do this, paradoxically, you are still immersing yourself within the negative energy of what you don’t want! I want you to understand that the mind needs clear direction about how you want to be and what you want in your life, in order to ‘set up the opportunities’ for life transformation to take place.
So, if you catch yourself caught up in the anxiety of what’s not right with your life, your confidence, your health, or your relationship, you are enforcing a subconscious program to keep what you don’t want right there!
Get Clear on How You Want to Improve Your Life
Ask yourself what do I find most frustrating in my life now, and what is it that’s keeping me stuck? It might be that you know who or what you don’t want, but you’ve not really given a lot of thought to what you actually want for yourself in your life. I need you to know that if you continue to focus on what you don’t want, then you’ll get more of precisely ‘that’ in your life. Thoughts are the lightest form of energy. It is a metaphysical law that the mind attracts what it focuses on, simply because the energy surrounding that negative idea grows. The neural pathway gets well used and becomes familiar. It makes sense, doesn’t it? How can anyone possibly create a better life if they are stuck in the cyclone of overwhelm in their current situation? Einstein said that ‘the definition of insanity is thinking the same thought over and over again, and expecting to get a different outcome.’ He was right!
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How to Help Yourself Let Go of Anxiety
You CAN turn this around, forget anxiety, and start attracting what you do want to show up in your life.
Once you are clear on what you want, start to absorb yourself in what it would be like to be that person, to achieve the success and fulfilment that you seek. Learning to create small windows of time in your day, to focus on what you want, is a proven way to bring about such transformation in your life. It’s not that you have to forget about what don’t want – as I said, this can be a huge motivator for you – but keep your thoughts focused more strongly and more vividly on what you do want, whilst you remind yourself of what you want to move away from. Imagine as you do this, that old negativity losing its hold on you. Compare the difference in this future, imagined feelings, and you’ll find a much stronger motivation, than just focusing on what you don’t want.
I believe totally in the power of positive thought and visualization. It has helped me personally over the years to find the courage to move my life forward in a chosen direction, and I have seen it successfully influence outcomes for all my clients too. I would go so far as to say it’s vital to develop the skill of imagining, positively and effectively, if you want to create a compelling future for yourself and improve the quality of your life.
Next time I will be sharing with you just how hypnotizing your thoughts are in determining how you live your life, today and tomorrow and ever after.
Until next time
With love and light
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Anxiety Expert – Anxiety Help Bournemouth & Christchurch, UK
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