How Goodness Calms Your Anxiety

“Hello and Welcome to Episode 4 of ‘Tuesday Choose Day’, my new inspirational weekly post.


My aim here is to inspire you to feel more positive and more confident within yourself to create the change you want to happen in your life.”

Today’s Inspiration To Brighten Your Day…


How might you feel differently in your life if you choose to seek out and appreciate the good people around you?

It is true that there are cruel people in the world and also good people who do bad things which scare us, confuse us and hurt us when we are children and even when we are adults too.  It can be easy to believe that the world is a nasty, unsafe, place to live.

If you were abused or treated badly as a child, your negative belief that the world is scary unsafe place will continue to attract people who hurt or bully you,  because the mind needs to hold beliefs that are true for you and it will seek out circumstance to match the beliefs you hold.  At times, good people act badly because it’s likely that they never made sense of the hurt that was done to them and it might be that hurting others is a misguided way to make sense for them of the anger and pain they feel.  Sometimes hurting others is deliberate and at other times it can be a cry for help.  We are all victims of victims.

When your belief is that the world is a bad place, your thoughts attract negative people and circumstance into your life so that you validate your belief… “You see, I told you I was right!” Sound familiar?!   Bad things happen to you, cycles repeat and you stay helpless and a victim in your life.  You are caught up in a cycle of negative expectation.
But it doesn’t have to be that way.   You can choose to break out of that cycle of pain and fear and look for the good around you instead.


You can choose to question your beliefs and choose to shine a search light on the good in the world instead. I promise you, it is there hiding in the darkness!

Today I want you to choose to take note only of any good thing that happens, of any kindness from anyone in the smallest of ways – from a smile, to a gesture, to a kind word, to a helping hand.  Your challenge is to completely dismiss any negative occurrence as if it were water off a duck’s back, as if the light didn’t catch it.  Tell yourself instead “Today I choose to focus only on the good things”

Then review your experience at the end of the day.  As you begin to focus only on the good around you, a shift will happen and your mind will begin to filter out the negative and filter into your awareness a more loving experience of the world.   By the law of attraction, what happens next is truly remarkable.

What you focus on grows.  In this new way, because you are more aware of the good around you, the more you acknowledge and appreciate this goodness, you will start to find that kinder people and happier times begin show up in your life.

See the world with different eyes today.  Give all those good people a chance to show you that love and kindness and opportunity is there for you in abundance and give thanks for the peace you find in the simplest of ways.  Together we can make our world a nicer place to be and for you, your thoughts hold the key.

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From the Wobbles and Worries Mailbox…


“I feel fed up in my life.   I just can’t seem to snap out of it, no matter how I try.   I feel guilty because there isn’t really any reason for me to be so down about everything.

I am married to a lovely man who puts up with my dark moods.  We have four children from previous marriages.  Lately I am pulling away from going out with friends because I just don’t enjoy myself.  It feels like my world is shrinking.  How can I get out of this feeling?”

A summary of my advice…

You say you feel guilty which suggests that deep down you believe you do have the good things in your life or,  that perhaps you believe you should be behaving in a certain way ie. feeling grateful for what you have, even though it doesn’t feel like enough.    Might it be that you are complacent with the security in your life and you are taking the good stuff for granted.

To break free from this negative mindset, first of all, list all the good things in your life – family, friends and circumstance.  Go into detail –what do you love and appreciate about each of these?  For eg. what’s ‘lovely’ about your man? Once you have your list, every day for at least ten minutes have an ‘abundance rampage’ and reel them off putting lots of emotion into it.  One at a time, feel how it feels to enjoy all these wonderful gifts in your life.

Every evening before you go to bed, remind yourself of the good things around you in your day and be thankful.  You will go to sleep with a smile on your face and you will sleep better for it.  In the morning, take a few moments on waking to think about what you can choose to look forward to in your day and imagine these times being fun and enjoyable.   Doing this helps to set a positive expectation of the day ahead so that you look forward to it.  Your mood will be lighter and you will get more out of your day.

If it feels like what you have still isn’t enough, then I wonder if you are fulfilled in your life right now?  Make sure you develop your own interests away from the family.   With four children and a husband, it is vital that you take care of your needs.  Make sure you find time for you to enjoy hobbies and exercise and create your own interests outside of family life.


If you’d like my advice with your particular wobble or worry, simply click on the link here




Lisa Skeffington, Anxiety Expert – Anxiety Help Bournemouth

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