“Hello and Welcome to Episode 13 of ‘Tuesday Choose Day’, my inspirational weekly post.
My aim here is to inspire you to feel more positive and more confident within yourself to create the change you want to happen in your life.” I’m offering you here a healthy dose of positivity and fun every Tuesday straight to your inbox.
Today’s Inspiration To Brighten Your Day…
We live in such a materialistic world that the real essence of Christmas very often gets diluted and even lost. Christmas is a time for giving – that’s what they say, don’t they?
The truth is we are all so often caught up in our ego centred habit of status and material stuff and we mistake ‘giving love’ for giving presents instead of just ‘giving of ourselves’. Too much stress is put on parents as children often expect Santa to bring them lots of presents, which can be costly. Young children enthusiastically write their Santa lists and wait in line to share their list with Santa in his grotto when he asks.. “So what do you want for Christmas?”
…“we’re going to cut down this year!”
I wonder if you as a parent have ever winced at the thought of the January credit card bill to pay when the decorations come down? I know in the past, I have. I wonder if in October or November you catch yourself saying “we’re going to cut down this year!” then when the Christmas season arrives, you just find yourself caught up in present buying – not only because you are spontaneous and over generous and present buying is infectious but also because you feel pressured into buying material gifts for relatives you don’t really see or get on with… those people we experience least connection with are the most difficult to buy for, aren’t they?!
In our family we now have a tradition that I started when the children were small. This tradition is a way to try to bring the focus back to where it needed to be by bringing the focus back to giving the precious love and attention that we all, and especially children, thrive on. This is a simple yet effective way to really boost self esteem.
Amongst gifts on the Santa list, I decided to make a Christmas card for each child with a gift of love inside – a gift of mummy and daddy’s time. Children spell love T.I.M.E.
This simple gift of love every year reads…
Time To Make A Memory
Time To Have Some Fun
Time For Us To Show YOU
That YOU Are NUMBER ONE!
Inside was typically an activity of some kind, something we could do together, something that filled their interests and fascinations at that time, like an adventure outing, a short break away, a theatre trip, a craft day, a baking day,.. you get the idea?
I would think long and hard about it beforehand and plan every detail. When the card was opened, the children knew exactly what would happen and when. Their faces would light up with excitement and beam with joy and our hearts would be overflowing because we could see clearly that our children knew they were wholly loved. They felt they are worth us investing our precious time in them.
I hope this little story here helps you to not feel so obligated to get yourself in debt this Christmas as a way to try to show how much your loved ones mean to you. Choose to replace ‘presents’ with your ‘presence’ this Christmas and into the New Year. Give yourself to your children, to your family and your friends and share the most precious gift you can ever give them – your time.
Until next time
With love and light x
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From the Wobbles and Worries Mailbox…
“My husband is 52 and was made redundant three months ago. He is not putting himself out there to try to get another job.
He is feeling more and more low in himself and he is struggling with his confidence in himself. I don’t know what to do. I do try to encourage him but he gets cross so I tend to back off. Although I work we are missing his income and I really need him to do something. Any ideas how I might help through this?”
A summary of my advice…
It’s natural for your husband to be doubting himself in the circumstances and spending time alone not doing much will amplify those feelings. Reassure him that he is so much more than the job he held. It is very common to bind our identity with the job we do and when the job is no longer there we can lose our sense of self. Help him to regain some structure in his days as if he were out at work. Firmly say that you do expect him to get another job soon and in the meantime you can both get up together and get organised for your days. Agree with him how he can use his time productively with a day planner. Agree household chores that need doing, things that need fixing whilst he has the free time and encourage set times in his day when he will get pro-active in looking for a job. Be sure to encourage him for specific things he has done to boost his confidence in his abilities. Redundancy is always an opportunity to look at work with fresh eyes so encourage him to think about what interests him and if he would prefer a change of direction now. You will be helping him to focus his energy in a positive dynamic way which will fuel a sense of purpose and create motivation.
If you’d like my advice with your particular wobble or worry, simply click on the link here
Lisa Skeffington, Anxiety Expert – Anxiety Help Bournemouth