How To End Stress This New Year

“Hello and Welcome to Episode 15 of ‘Tuesday Choose Day’, my inspirational weekly post.

My aim here is to inspire you to feel more positive and more confident within yourself to manage stress and create the change you want to happen in your life.”  I’m offering you here a healthy dose of positivity and fun every Tuesday straight to your inbox.


Today’s Inspiration To Brighten Your Day…


I recently became aware of some findings carried out by Australian nurse Bronnie Ware, who whilst working in palliative care for many years, recorded the dying epiphanies of patients during their final three months of life…

She found that many patients had the same or very similar regrets which were:

I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me;

I wish I hadn’t worked so hard;

I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings;

I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends;

I wish I had let myself be happier.

Take some time to review 2015 for YOU…

I wonder if you achieved what you hoped and planned for yourself in 2015? If not, perhaps the New Year resolutions you made were not in line with what matters most to you?  Allow yourself some quiet time to review 2015 – feed yourself on all that was good, in how you grew perhaps – and then review how it didn’t work and any stress you experienced?  What did not happen and what went wrong for you last year?



Then, welcome a new beginning – a new chance to start over, to make it right for you in whatever way that means.
What we believe is true for us…
It is only possible for us to think and act in line with our beliefs…New Year Resolutions can seem ‘empty’ and fail often because they don’t meet what we really need.  They simply tap into a feeling of inadequacy or low-self esteem which stops us committing because we doubt we are even that capable or really worth it.
It’s time to understand your stress and get real…
You may wish to get healthier but do you address the real reason you over-indulge or smoke?…. You may work too hard but do you address the reason you seek recognition, control or even money?… You want a happier relationship but do you address the real reasons your relationship is failing…

Why not try this simple yet powerful exercise to help you find some clarity to move forward into a healthier and happier 2016?

Take a few moments to sit quietly and breathe deeply into your abdomen, close your eyes and begin to imagine yourself sitting gently swinging in a wonderful rocking chair… imagine how it feels to sit in this chair as an old person in the last few months of your life… look back over your life and allow your old mind to slowly recall those significant events, circumstances, joys and heartaches of your life.  Notice what you regret the most in this final time of your life… what do you wish had been different?   Just notice what comes up and the feelings… This is vital information for you which you can use to set yourself real and worthwhile goals to find peace within yourself NOW.

To Find Peace We Must Listen…

If you’ve engaged with me and just done this…were there any surprises?  Chances are you already had a nagging somewhere way back there, pushed to the back of your mind or your heart.  Most times we already know what we will regret when we are old and it is often fear or pride which stops us being honest now and keeps us blaming circumstance instead, within our safe comfort zone of discontent.

Typically New Year Resolutions – like getting fit, losing weight, stopping smoking, finding a better job or relationship remain  dreams because we don’t really commit ourselves in the right way…

Turn Your Dreams to Reality…

Are you amongst the 3% who write worthwhile goals down, make a plan and regularly review those goals to make sure they become reality?    A consistent review highlights to you what is getting in your way of achieving your goal, be it an emotional, spiritual or physical block.

When we live our lives governed by strong healthy beliefs, positive healthy change requires just two things generally, one is focus and the other is habit.  If you consistently think and act in a clear and focussed way with passion, those obstacles to your success will just melt away…

What would make your heart truly sing this New Year?

Make peace with yourself and end the stress…  Take action in the ‘right’ way and make positive change happen.

And if you need support…. I’m right here.

Until next time

With love and light x

Help With Anxiety - free audio

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Anxiety Help BournemouthFrom the Wobbles and Worries Mailbox…

“Every year I feel depressed at Christmas. I love the lead up to Christmas with the shopping and carol services and school plays but as we get into the few days before Christmas I start to dread it.

It’s a pattern I’m beginning to recognise but I don’t understand it. By the end of Christmas Day, I always seem to feel disappointed and let down that it’s not been as good as I secretly want it to be.  I try to hide my feelings from my family but I am sure they notice.  What can I do to snap myself out this and not put a damper on the day for everyone else?”

A summary of my advice…


From what you have said, I sense that you are placing too much emphasis on the day of ‘Christmas Day’ itself and this is making you feel under pressure.   It is all too easy to view the lead up as a means to gather momentum for the big day and this is what is happening here it seems.  So think about taking the pressure off the big day and allow it be just another day in the Christmas season.  Yes it is special, but let it be less black and white.

Treat the entire month of December as a festive occasion when Advent begins.  Enjoy the planning and celebrations ‘for what they are’ on each day instead of a means to drive the focus towards Christmas Day.  You can make things easier on yourself by lowering your expectations of yourself and of others.   Reduce pressure on the day by letting go of any need for perfection and let things just be ‘good enough’ instead.

I wonder what you hope for out of Christmas Day but never get and if these expectations are realistic in your circumstances?   What would happen on your ideal Christmas Day and what would you get out of that?   The answer to these questions will help you in understanding how you can feel  more fulfilled within yourself.  Perhaps what you are hoping for but not getting could be addressed with some honest communication in some way.  Perhaps you need to change the way you spend Christmas?

At the end of the day, the only present we ever really want is to feel loved and connected and any thoughtful  present is given in an attempt to try to show how much we care to those who matter most.   Create an atmosphere of relaxed communication and focus only on the simple pleasure of spending time together as a family.


If you’d like my advice with your particular wobble or worry, simply click on the link here


Tuesday Titter…

Here’s a bit of fun! It’s heartwarming to watch these soldiers bringing a bit of fun to their troubles on the front line.  Enjoy x





Lisa Skeffington, Anxiety Expert – Anxiety Help Bournemouth

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