How To Grow Flowers In The Garden Of Your Mind

Anxiety Help Bournemouth“Hello and Welcome to Episode 5 of ‘Tuesday Choose Day’, my new inspirational weekly post.

My aim here is to inspire you to feel more positive and more confident within yourself to create the change you want to happen in your life.”  I’m offering you here a healthy dose of positivity and fun every Tuesday straight to your inbox.


Today’s Inspiration To Brighten Your Day…

Let’s talk about the amazing power you hold within you to transform your perception of your world, your situation and your circumstances by weeding through your thoughts.

When you were born, your mind was just like a pot of fertile soil, pure, rich, well fed and eager to grow something – You!  Imagine now for a moment your own mind is that pot of fertile soil.  Within a short space of time, just a little seed can begin to germinate and grow to produce amazingly beautiful flowers or  instead,  unhealthy weeds.  Life can blow seeds through the air into that pot from other plant life nearby and influence what grows there and, bugs and worms find their way to the pot too.  Before you know it, that pot of waiting fertile soil is alive with activity.   If you tend well to the pot, you’ll encourage the bugs to leave.  Sow the right seeds and then nourish and water and let some light shine and you’ll have pretty flowers to enjoy.

I wonder in your thinking patterns if you tend to criticise yourself, talk badly or gossip about others and, always expect the worst?  Perhaps you feel guilty or ashamed about something, or maybe you resent people or your situation.   If this is you and how you tend to think, then you are growing weeds in the garden of your soul.  These weeds become anxiety and eventually depression.

So how can you help yourself today and root out those weeds in your thinking so that you can create a prettier and healthier perspective on your world?

Firstly, recognise that your life is a mirror of your thoughts so if you are thinking negativity then you will continue to find yourself in negative situations and you will attract people of a similar negative mindset to you.  They say we are a product of the top five people we spend our time with so take a look around you.  Hahaha…Are you living amongst weeds?

Decide today to catch any negative thought as if you are digging over your pot of soil and toss out any weed you don’t want, that doesn’t serve you.   As soon as you notice yourself saying something negative out loud or inside your head in self talk, just imagine uprooting and tossing out an ugly weed and in its place plant the seed of a positive and encouraging and loving thought instead – if you get stuck with this, the easiest way to do it is to say to yourself the complete opposite of what you were thinking.  Here are some suggestions of how you might flip the negative to a positive…So for example, if you were thinking something like..

“I’m such a failure”! – instead say – “ I’m really good at some things, I can do this.  I just need to take my time and figure it out.”

“I’m so fat!” – instead say –“ I’m already looking slimmer.  Choosing to look after by body, make healthy food choices and get active really works.”

“I can’t cope.  This is too much!”  -instead say – “I’m finding this difficult today but I can handle it.”

“There are so many bills to pay!” – instead say – “Paying bills is evidence of my ability to pay.”

If someone tells you “You’re wrong!” – instead say –“It’s not that I’m wrong, we just see it differently.”

“I probably won’t get the job” – instead say – “There’s every chance I will get the job.  I’m as good a candidate as anyone else.”

“Nothing ever changes.  It makes me so cross” – instead say – “I can make changes.  There is a way to improve my situation.”

You get the idea, I’m sure…

You’ll quickly learn to catch yourself as you get into the habit of thinking more positively about things and the weeds will jump out at you, just like they do in a garden that is well tended and stocked with flowers.  Keep on weeding.

In the same way, you’ll easily notice those people in your life who add a downer to your day, besides yourself.    If one day you say something like, “I’m so looking forward to the BBQ on Saturday”… and the person replies ‘yeah, if it doesn’t rain!’ – That’s a weed!!

Gardens need some TLC to grow and flourish and so do you.  So get busy weeding and keep sowing those seeds of hope and joy in your life.

Until next time

With love and light x


From the Wobbles and Worries Mailbox…

“I’ve noticed that my teenage daughter is avoiding going out, turning down invites then feels sad and lonely.  She seems to always be falling out with her friends or pushing them away.

I’m desperate to help her, but when I try to talk to her she just snaps at me and says I don’t understand and to leave her alone.  How can I best help her and get her to open up?”

A snippet of my advice…

It sounds like your daughter is struggling with self esteem and feeling vulnerable as a result.   This is very common in teenage girls wrestling with hormone fluctuations.  She may have become pre-occupied with how she looks and is seen by others.  Teenagers constantly compare and judge themselves harshly to their friends and peers and with such pressure to compete, they can be very hard on themselves. This undermines confidence and creates self-doubt.   Her comment to you that ‘you don’t understand’ suggests that she may be feeling alone and isolated in her negativity.  I wonder does she feel that you understand her generally?  She is clearly in conflict within herself, pushing her friends and even you, away.  On the one hand, it may feel safer to be alone because then she won’t have to deal with uncomfortable feelings, but on the other hand it is distressing her being on the outside of things.

Try to steer away from the issues that are troubling her for now and instead, spend some time with her in a simple, loving and uncomplicated way.  Go shopping together, to the cinema or go for a spa day or just spend some time outside together. Ideally create situations where you will have time to talk if she wants to.  Ask her what she’d like to do with you and do that.  Most of the time, she will hiding from being herself amongst her friends and ‘herself’ is a very loose concept right now. Concentrate your time and energy on just being with her and let her feel that she can just relax and be herself with you.  Casually praise and encourage her for her qualities not her actions and you will boost her self esteem.  Subtly, let her step aside from teenage pressures and become a little girl with her mummy again and that as her mum, you just enjoy her.  She will open up to you when she feels this.   Let her take her time in talking to you or encourage her to talk to someone else she may feel close to if she prefers.  Listen well without judgement and don’t interrupt her.  Try to talk to her with open questions using HOW, WHAT, WHEN, and WHO (avoiding the judgement of WHY).   Encourage her to compare herself to others by comparing ‘everything’ and she will win on some counts, which can she draw on when she needs to re-set the balance amongst her peers.  I hope it helps.

If you’d like my advice with your particular wobble or worry, simply click here


Tuesday Titter…

If Disney Princesses had realistic hair…I think this video is best with the sound muted (!) for full effect.   With so many perfect images of women to live up to, it’s good to get a reality check. Truth is we all have bad hair days… I hope you’ll find comfort in knowing you are not alone in these ‘hair frizz’ autumn days!   Click here and enjoy x