“Hello and Welcome to Episode 9 of ‘Tuesday Choose Day’, my new inspirational weekly post.
My aim here is to inspire you to feel more positive and more confident within yourself to create the change you want to happen in your life.” I’m offering you here a healthy dose of positivity and fun every Tuesday straight to your inbox.
Today’s Inspiration To Brighten Your Day…
Every day you write another page in the book of You, in your story, in the Chronicle of Your Life… I wonder what your story says about you? Who you are? What you do? The truth is we all live our lives based on a story we may not even be aware exists. It’s a story that gets told to us through the generations which creates a blueprint of beliefs and expectations.
When we are children we absorb this story like it’s a favourite bedtime story that we want to hear again and again because it makes us feel secure – and that’s even if the story is not so good. As we grow we are expected to live and behave in line with that story. When that story doesn’t fit with who we are and who we want to be, it can create feelings of guilt and shame and we may feel pressured to conform and ‘fit in’ by those close to us. More importantly it creates a conflict within us that we can’t ignore.
This conflict feels like anxiety – the battle between what we want and what we ‘should’ do or have or be; the battle between your heart and your head. The ‘should’ is the story as it’s been foretold. But that if story just does not seem to fit with you… Are you perhaps living someone else’s story?
This ‘Choose Day’ is the perfect opportunity for you to begin a new chapter in the Book of You, to begin perhaps to think about writing your own story; one that feels more true to you…
When you live your true story and allow yourself to become who you want to be, you find your true self and you find your way to ease stress and become happy.
Here’s how you can make a start today…
Think about those times in the past when you tried to change something, to branch out. Those times when it felt so uncomfortable that you gave in and slipped back inside that familiar and safe comfort zone of discontent.
What dream did you dare to dream that got squashed?
Identify what you wanted but didn’t get at that time. What were the pressures/expectations of others that made it difficult? What was the belief within you that pulled you back? In what way did you doubt yourself?
Your belief is written in the script of your story. The doubt you had is the chain that yanks you back into the confines of that story.
Realise that when you give in to those doubts and yield to those beliefs, you may not be being true to yourself. This can negatively affect your self esteem because you create a belief within yourself that you can’t trust yourself to follow through in order to make your life different and better – and it makes it harder for you to try again.
Dare To Dream.
Acknowledge that you have a choice. You really don’t have to stay trapped in someone else’s story. This ‘Choose Day’ give yourself permission to create strong affirmations to remind yourself of the truth about you and what you truly want and need to be happy. Begin to imagine…dare to dream it. Visualise yourself just how you want yourself to be. Make this picture as vivid and real as you can. As you capture the emotion of this moment as if it’s real right now, you send a compelling message to your subconscious mind and you begin to write your own story.
Good luck. If you get writer’s block and you need help to understand and clear those limiting beliefs and doubts, I’m right here.
Until next time
With love and light x
Do you feel powerless, anxious and overwhelmed to make change happen in your life? I’d like to offer you an immediate opportunity to take a break from your stresses and anxieties. CLICK TO DOWNLOAD my FREE De-Stress Audio.
From the Wobbles and Worries Mailbox…
“I’m 27 and have no trust in men. When I was 15 I discovered that my father was not actually my biological father and that my mother had used a sperm donor.
It rocked my world then and I’ve always felt a kind of emptiness ever since. I’ve had boyfriends but it always ends the same way because I worry obsessively that they will leave me for someone better which makes us fight and break up. I’m seeing a really lovely guy now and I want it to be more serious but I’m worried it’ll end up like before. How can I make it different this time?”
A summary of my advice…
You had grown up believing that your father was your biological dad and when you learned he wasn’t, it smashed the trust you had with your parents and especially the man who raised you. It is hard to accept at any age but to discover this as a teenager would have been especially difficult because it was at a time when you were forming your identity. In your relationships today, your teenage self is needing reassurance that she won’t be deceived but the men in your life cannot ease your fears because it is really about your father. It is likely that a man in a relationship for you represents your father and you are simply re-playing a fear that you will lose your father. What you are fearing and therefore focusing on becomes reality – you lose your man and it’s as if you are losing your father all over again. It is likely that this is validating a belief that men can’t be trusted which makes you suspicious.
You would benefit hugely from some therapy to work through your fears with abandonment, trust and self esteem issues. This will help to create a sense of inner security within yourself and within your new relationship. Let’s talk.
If you’d like my advice with your particular wobble or worry, simply click on the link here
Lisa Skeffington, Anxiety Expert – Anxiety Help Bournemouth