“Hello and Welcome to Episode 16 of ‘Tuesday Choose Day’, my inspirational weekly post.
My aim here is to inspire you to feel more positive and more confident within yourself to ease stress and create the change you want to happen in your life.” I’m offering you here a healthy dose of positivity and fun every Tuesday straight to your inbox.
Today’s Inspiration To Brighten Your Day…
During a conversation discussing focus and ambition, the Dr Seuss book “Oh the Places You’ll Go!” was once mentioned to me. This book has proved a huge inspiration and reality check for me ever since. It is a story which I have loved sharing with my children to encourage them to follow their dreams.
We all have dreams and ideals but the sad truth is so many of us are scared to really go for it and never actually get far from the dreaming stage. It takes a lot of hard work, consistency and dedication and a will to keep getting back up when we get knocked down. We put roadblocks and obstacles in our way and we find many plausible reasons to convince ourselves why it isn’t possible – yet…!
In therapy I see my clients do this often – I see because I have done it myself in the past and on occasion I catch myself doing it in the present (it’s one of those holes I allude to a past blog post – How To Find The Right Road To Walk Free From Anxiety.)
Have you ever heard the phrase “If you really want to do something, you’ll find a way and if not, you’ll find an excuse…?” A male client in his late 20s battling with confidence continually finds reasons why he cannot get out of his own way and ‘go for it!’ Our work together generating self awareness and huge leaps in his self-esteem means for the first time in his life, he’s now getting there…..
So I wonder which roadblocks spring up for you in your life? Those roadblocks can be to do with your circumstances and the situation you’re in or they might be psychological – by the way you think about your situation and your expectations. Maybe there’s a fear of some kind?
Let’s spend a few moments here with a short visualisation to help you to gain some perspective on any roadblocks for you so that you can take steps to overcome them.
- Take some breaths and ground yourself into the present time, into this moment today.
- Imagine what you want for yourself in the future, what you will be doing or what you will have…
- Imagine a road or path linking from here in the present to that future place.
- Look from the Now into the future along that road. Is the road clear or are there blocks along the way? What are these blocks? Are they doubts? Beliefs? Physical things?
- Make these blocks tangible so that you see them there blocking the way on your road ahead.
- Now you can see them and how your mind perceives them, you will begin to understand the power they have seemed to have over you in holding you back.
- Ask yourself what can you do to remove that particular roadblock from your path? What needs to happen? Take your time and consider what you can do. Do you perhaps need to shrink it so that you are bigger than the problem so that it feels less significant by comparison or do you need to physically remove it from your path? Remember that these are representations within your mind and using your imagination to take some action sends a clear message to your subconscious that is empowering for you.
Until next time
With love and light x
Do you feel powerless, anxious and overwhelmed to make change happen in your life? I’d like to offer you an immediate opportunity to take a break from your stresses and anxieties. CLICK TO DOWNLOAD my FREE De-Stress Audio.
From the Wobbles and Worries Mailbox…
“I am the main earner in our family and we have two children both aged 6 and 10. My job is very stressful and demanding which means I don’t get much time to be with my children on weekdays.
I’ve been offered a great job with more money and less hours but we will need to re-locate. My kids are really settled and happy where we live now. I’m really torn and don’t know what would be best for them – more of me in a strange place or less of me and staying settled. What would you do? I’d value your advice”
A summary of my advice…
When opportunities present themselves, it always gives us a chance to examine our current situation with more objectivity and to re-evaluate our priorities in life.
A great job with more money and less hours will help you to feel more calm and perhaps happier within yourself. If you are less stressed, this will impact positively on your children without doubt. Being more available and spending more time with them will strengthen your bond.
An opportunity to spend more time with children and be there for bedtime will inevitably lead to less guilt for you which I am guessing may be an issue now caused by your working so much? An option is for you to seek a different job in your home town now which will give you less hours and more time with the children without the need to uproot them. I understand that you may have already exhausted this option which could be why the job offer seems so attractive to you.
How the kids will be affected depends a lot on their personality and if they are outgoing and adventurous or if they prefer to stay in the comfortable familiarity of what they know. Treat the move as a big adventure for the whole family so get everyone talking and expressing their ideas and opinions. It isn’t relocating and starting afresh that’s damaging – it’s more how children make sense of their emotions and work through any worries and expectations.
Encouraging your children to actively take part in discussions around a possible move and airing their fears and wishes will clearly indicate to you if the fears here are yours or theirs.
If you’d like my advice with your particular wobble or worry, simply click on the link here
Lisa Skeffington, Anxiety Expert – Anxiety Help Bournemouth