When There Seems No Escape From The Misery Of Misophonia…

In my last blog post, I mentioned helping Sarah, a misophonia sufferer, in recent months and that her otherwise seemingly ‘incurable’ condition has substantially improved…  Misophonia is often characterised by extreme sounds sensitivity or selective sound sensitivity.   It seems many have been told that there is no curing misophonia and that there may be few possible treatments available.

Just today, I have responded to two further enquiries as a result of Sarah having shared her success of continuing progress.  Yesterday, Sarah asked me if I would share my thoughts with her support group on my approach to tackling misophonia, which may go some way to helping you to understand the reasons I believe success is possible with this debilitating condition.

….When you or someone close to you is upset, it upsets the relationship dynamics and everyone hurts, don’t they? Every relationship suffers in some way and I’m guessing you find yourselves in a loop of frustration and difficult communication, which is draining?   It’s just easier for your world to get smaller and smaller, if it’s even possible to escape it at all…?

I’m happy to help you with this condition in any way I can.  I work in a very unique way which I have just grown into with experience.  My unique subjective take on life and therapy means I don’t know of anyone else who actually works the exact same way I do, whatever the challenge may be.

I am passionate about helping anyone struggling emotionally and psychologically to find the resources within themselves to create the positive change they seek.

I am well qualified as a therapist, yet it is my ‘need to understand’ rather than focus on textbook knowledge and application which underpins the quality help I offer and which has created much success over the years. In my opinion, so many therapists are technique-bound with an ‘academic security-blanket’ framework and are often ineffective as a result. If their approach is in their head and not their heart, they won’t connect with you in your place in need of help.

To answer your question, ‘How do you treat misophonia?’  I have limited experience to be honest of overcoming misophonia as a particular condition in isolation, however – and it is a big however – I strongly believe that it is no more than a ‘label’ for a debilitating unhealthy psychological condition. I see similarities psychologically in fibromyalgia and M.E/chronic fatigue syndrome to name just one or two. I believe that once there is a label placed on us, such as in this case, ‘selective sound sensitivity syndrome’ or ‘sound sensitivity disorder’,  society has us believe that there is something ‘wrong with us’ and the way we are ‘wired’. If we accept that such a ‘genetic’ incurable condition has shot us down, we remain powerless with little control over ourselves and our world. Wouldn’t  anyone be angry??!

In the case of depression, often associated with such ‘mystifying’ conditions, my experience is that depression is to a large extent, repressed anxiety and anger turned inwards.

Suffering from the symptoms of misophonia, you perhaps feel irritated and angry with everyone else, there’s nothing wrong with you – you don’t need fixing, – it’s them… “If they would just stop being sooo annoying….”

And there’s a conflict there, isn’t there? – on the one hand, it’s the way we are wired, but on the other it’s everyone else…

I work from a perspective that we are simply reacting to frustrations and confounding feelings which we feel powerless to make sense of. Is there ever anything ‘wrong’ with any of us? (I say with attitude!) …Are we all not just trying to express ourselves and make sense of what we perceive is happening in our world as best we can with the inner resources we have at this time?

I work conversationally and therapeutically to create a subtle yet dynamic shift in perspective.  My experience in helping Sarah evidences that this approach is by far it seems, the best treatment for misophonia.  For more details of the therapies I work with, click on the tabs  ‘About Me’ and ‘How I Can Help/Therapies Explained’ .

I use an uncommon blend of therapies, but most of all we work with openness, honesty and trust which forges a connection as you feel more understood (a kind of healing bridge) and, which gives you permission to understand and heal whatever you may need to in your life in an unpressured way in order to move forward. It won’t happen overnight, but steady progress is possible.

To be hung up on exactly ‘how’ we do it, is to conform to that ‘academic security-blanket’ framework which keeps us head-bound and out of our hearts.  If you want to get better and move on, be brave and take a leap of faith…. it’s the only way.

If you are local to the Wilts/Hants/Dorset borders then we would be able to meet face to face.  However, I have recently started working on-line using facetime which is proving to be a great success! The reason I have started this is actually due to constant enquiries from back in Buckinghamshire where I used to live until two years ago. Past clients have been unable to find further adequate help for themselves or for friends/family comparing their healing experiences with me and, I am asked to help even though I am now on Hampshire/Dorset borders. Working on-line with facetime and email saves people travelling distance unnecessarily and is an extra support to just email chat.

As a misophonia sufferer, it may feel more comfortable for you to talk from home with technology in a private and more informal way, rather than in clinic face to face time, although there are undoubtedly benefits in sharing energy in the same room.  If you have access to iphone, ipad, or mac and are familiar with facetime (very simple to use), there may be an opportunity to get help for you.

The success we achieve will hinge very much on your willingness to explore issues openly and honestly with me. You are responsible for the positive change you achieve – I can’t do it for you. It can be challenging though it may well feel over time like a life-line to you (others have commented in the past).

If this all sounds like something you may be interested to explore, please get in touch by clicking here and we’ll talk more.

Lisa Skeffington, Anxiety Expert – Anxiety Help Bournemouth

Anxiety Help

Testimonial for help with Misophonia

‘I have had (that old) misophonia for almost forty years and it won’t be long before I feel that I can safely take the brackets away. (That old) misophonia has affected/ restricted/ ruined many aspects of my life and made living every day pretty exhausting. Nevertheless I held down a good job for twenty years, have become a successful horse trainer, have a pretty stable relationship with my husband and have many friends. At times I was suicidal though – just five months ago I was considering moving into a small flat and becoming a recluse and David and I wondered whether we would ever be able to go on holiday with each other every again. Thanks to Lisa and her approach all of that seems like a long time ago. I turned to her in absolute desperation, as a last resort and she is the first person that has given me hope AND results. I went to France a couple of weeks ago and had meals with the family I was staying with and out in restaurants without feeling tortured and for the first time I was able to enjoy the food and the company. I went to the theatre a week ago and for the first time was engrossed by the dancers instead of the noise and movements of the people around me. We’ve even booked a couple of holidays, confident that now it won’t be a trial.’                                                                                                                                                                                Sarah, 50, Barrister




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